Silence

Lady A and I have parted. 

With no end date in site I felt too stricken with remorse for her situation to ask her to wait. 

We are now no more (essentially) and so we are no longer in communicado.. Which includes her blog entries..

They were so fundemental. Yes they were for her to learn more about herself, chronically her feelings and thoughts for her reference and for me to help guide.. But they were so much more than that for me. They were insight into her mind and heart. They offered a constant connection. I could learn her and consider her present self at any time. 

I read and reread every post of hers. Deliberating over the contents. Drawing insight and comfort from them. I get more from her than i believe she realises.

Now there are no more.. It is very evident to me just how much that truly was. It is as though I am in the chasm of space. No end in sight. No time to enjoy her company in sight. No idea when I will get to guide her in her life. No chance to impart wisdom. No idea what ailes her and no opportunity to hold her hand and lead her through it. 

I have silence.. By choice.. So I cannot even complain. I can only exist.